I face another day standing

I watched him walk by the shore, the sea whipping around his tanned legs. He looked desolate, caught up in the moment. I watched silently from the balcony as the guy I had grown to know and love… no, he was no more.

The boy was still there, but his soul had gone. He was no longer the guy I had fallen in love with. I watched as he tossed a stone in the sea and stared as it bounced. As I stood a few feet above him, I felt guilty.

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Guilty that I had let him become like this, guilty I had just let him slip away. I wanted to believe he deserved it, I really did. But I just couldn’t. I couldn’t face another day standing by and watching him mope around as if he had nothing better to do. Because no matter how hard I tried, I couldn’t bring myself even to speak to him.

As he turned slowly, our eyes met, locked in a solid gaze we had come to recognize. Only this was different. His eyes didn’t bear the love they used to—only loneliness, and emptiness.

Not a tremor of joy…As I walked further up the beach, I threw a rock into the sea, not even the waves lapping at my feet soothing my temper. All I could think about was how she could do this to me. We were doing just fine, until we hit that rough patch.

And all because I’d started on the basketball team. Just because I wanted to live my own life meant to her that we should throw away everything we ever worked for. Everything that meant the world to me. Then when I turned, I saw her.

She was staring down at me, and I then realized that we now had nothing in common. We’d changed. She was not the girl I had fallen in love with. I read the look on her face to be sympathetic, as she had every right to be. Because she ruined it for us, and pinned all the blame on the victim.

But as we stood there, gazing at each other as if frozen in place, there was something missing in the way she looked at me. There was not a tremor of guilt or shame. Not a tremor.